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HOW CAN I OVERCOME SHYNESS?

 the bad news news: Shyness isn’t always bad. It can help you think before you speak and can make you a better observer and listener.

The better news: Shyness is not a permanent trait, so you can control its negative effects. This article will show you how.

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 Turn the light on your fears

Shyness can make you dread the very idea of talking to people face-to-face. As a result, you might feel isolated from others, as if you were alone in a dark room. That can be scary. But if you turn the light on your fears, you might see that they are unfounded. Consider three examples.

  • Fear #1: “I don’t know what to talk about.”

    Fact: People remember less of what you say but more of how you make them feel. You can take control of your fear by developing your skill at listening, being genuinely interested in what others have to say.

    To think about: What kind of friend do you prefer—a chatterbox who always has something to say or someone who is a good listener?

  • Fear #2: “People will think I’m boring.”

    Fact: People will form opinions about you whether you are shy or not. You can take control of your fear—and help people form a better opinion of you—if you let them see you for who you are.

    To think about: If you think everyone is judging you negatively, could you be judging them unfairly by assuming the worst?

  • Fear #3: “I’ll be embarrassed if I say the wrong thing.”

    Fact: At times, that happens to everyone. You can take control of your fear by viewing blunders as an opportunity to show that you don’t take yourself too seriously.

    To think about: Don’t you enjoy being with people who can admit that they are not perfect?

Did you know? Some people think they are not shy because they text a lot. But genuine friendships are easier to form with people when you have in-person conversation. Psychologist and technology expert Sherry Turkle writes: “It is when we see each other’s faces and hear each other’s voices that we become most human to each other.” *

The same girl talking with a couple at the gathering.

Once you take control of your fears, you may find that face-to-face conversation is not as frightening as it once seemed

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